Chaplain Paul G. Durbin, Ph.D. 


(1) False Memories:

(2) Bill's Case History: 

(3) Self-confidence And Improve Relationship: 

(4) Bill's Age Regression:

(5) Stairway to Nowhere: 

(6) New Ways Of Seeing Yourself: 

(7) Eagle And Chickens With Two Endings: (Which Will You Choose?):  

CHAPTER 24: AGE REGRESSION: When using age regression, I suggest to the client, you always hear and understand me no matter where you are or what your age. You always see me being a very close and dear friend who you can confide in easily and comfortable. You always communicate with me in a manner that you know I can understand. Is that alright with you? If it is alright with the client. I precede. Closely associate with finding the cause of a problem is generally a three fold search. For this I use the Hypno-analysis model.

1) The Initial Sensitizing Event is not recallable by the conscious mind.

a) The individual is sensitized by an emotionally powerful past incident but no symptom appears.

b) Not always easy to find and not always necessary to find, but individual may be subject to reoccurrence of symptoms if not dealt with and released.

2) The Symptom Producing Event is when symptoms begin to appear and may or may not be recalled.

a) A second emotionally powerful event that trigger symptom.

b) Not always apparently related to the first.

3) The Symptom Intensifying Event is an intensifying of symptoms.

a) Recallable

b) May or may not be different from previous experiences.

c) Often causes the person to seek help.

When using age regression be aware that if the client experiences emotional trauma, the client may experience an abreaction. If the client begins to cry, move about, shows fear, stick with them, remain calm, and either allow the client to work through it or help her move away from the situation. This can be done by having them see it as if on TV and suggestions for reducing the emotional impact. An abreaction may lead to healing and the release of tension.

(1) False Memories: Another point of caution, when one relives a past event; the memory may or may not be accurate fact. Memories can be fabricated either by the therapist or the client. At a meeting of the American Psychological Association, Elizabeth Lobtus, an authority on memory stated, "The idea of repression of early traumatic memories is a concept many psychotherapist readily accept." She goes on to say that there is evidence to suggest that the "Memories" are false ones, implanted by therapists through the power of suggestion and then uncritically accepted by them as evidence of truth.

She blamed the theory of the book, "The Courage To Heal which suggest the abuse probably occurred even if the person has no memory of it and that any demands of corroboration are not reasonable. Loftus stated that her research indicates that it is easy to implant false memories. she said, "That so many individuals enter therapy with no memory of abuse but accepts memories during therapy naturally makes one wonder about what might be happening in therapy."

A woman came to me stating that she has been to a psychiatrist who regressed her back to a supposed sexual molestation by her father. She was considering confronting her father and accusing him of sexual abuse when she was a little girl. Before doing that, she wanted a second opinion because in the conscious state, she has no memory of the abuse.  She had always felt very close to her father and was never consciously afraid of him.

In a regression, I asked her to go back to any experience from the past that can clarify her situation in relation to hear father. She want back to a situation that occurred when she was three years and continued for about two years. She used to like to have her dad rock her on his foot which she called, "riding the horsey." During this time of play, she experienced sexual pleasure and orgasms. Of the first experience, she said, "Daddy is holding my hands while I ride the horsey and it feels good between my legs. Something is happening, if feels so good, but I don't understand. The good feeling is coming from where I pee pee from." I asked her, "Is there anyone else in the room with you and your father?" She replied, "Yes, my mama and my brother." From these regressions, it appears that her father was totally innocent of any abuse and was just playing a normal child game with his daughter the same way he had played with her older brother who wanted to "ride the horsey."

She was satisfied that her father had not abused her in anyway and was indeed just having a good time with his daughter without being aware of her experiencing any sexual feeling. As a therapist be sure that you do not put ideas or contribute to false memories. The reliving of false memories has destroyed many good men and women. 

(2) Bill's Case History: Bill came to see me because he was having trouble developing a meaningful relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Bill also confessed that he was a workaholic and this had been a leading cause of the break up of his first marriage. I worked with Bill for several weeks for stress management and self-confidence.

(3) Self-confidence And Improve Relationship: As you continue relaxing more, it is not important for you to consciously listen to my words...In fact, you don't even need to consciously pay any attention to what I'm saying because the subconscious levels of your mind can hear everything I say, and enable you to respond automatically, without any conscious effort by you.

Even though it is a fact that you have the power and the ability to achieve any goal you want to achieve, there are certain actions you can take that enable you to progress more rapidly and without interfering with your relationships. One of the most important actions you can take is already happening...You find that permitting yourself to be hypnotized is one of the most helpful, most beneficial actions you can take for increasing your self-confidence, and helping you in all other areas of your life...How you feel about yourself is reflected in how you relate to others. You are learning to love yourself and thereby you are more loving and thoughtful toward others ...

In the past, you may have had doubts about your abilities to accomplish things without over working yourself and thereby failing to place proper priorities...But now that your confidence is increasing rapidly, you have the confidence you need for every situation or circumstances that come up in your life...

You find your confidence increasing each day...You believe in yourself as being a person who possesses the knowledge, the wisdom, and the ability to achieve the goals you want to achieve...and at the same time be responsive to your loved ones and friends...In the past you may have had doubts, but those doubts are rapidly fading away.  All doubts are soon gone completely,...Those doubts are being released and are being replaced with a strong sense of confidence...You are beginning to realize your own self-worth...You are a very special person...You have special talents and capabilities to meet your needs...Each day you are continuing to develop a greater realization of your capabilities...You are progressing rapidly by using a technique that keeps reinforcing and strengthening your concept of yourself...And it keeps increasing your self-confidence, your self-acceptance and self-reliance...

You have outstanding capabilities...You possess a tremendous power that you can use to be a success...Each day your determination to use the power of your mind to help you attain greater success and better your relationship with women keeps increasing...Repeat that idea silently in your mind now..."Each day I use the power of my mind to help me attain greater understanding of women and how to relate to women so that meaningful relationships can develop..."

You can do anything you make up your mind to do...By using the power of your mind in a positive way, you draw to yourself everything that benefits you in a helpful way including relating to women in a positive caring way...Think these words in your mind now, "I believe in myself...I believe I can achieve what I desire into reality..." You find it beneficial to keep repeating those statements over to yourself several times each day, especially just before going to sleep and just after you wake up...Your self-confidence continues increasing more each day...And you recognize that you are attracting the attention of people who recognize you as a capable, loving person...

You are aware that you attract to you what you think and believe, so you keep your thoughts on goals you want to achieve and other positive ideas that are beneficial to you and bring you greater happiness, and enjoyment, and prosperity...

One of the most important goals in life is to keep becoming a better person, you can do that by being the positive self-confident, self-assured person you are capable of being...Self confidence and proper concern for others increases your abilities to establish and maintain meaningful relationships...You can do it...Walter D. Wintle wrote a poem which I would like to read the last stanza to you,

"Life's battles don't always go

to the stronger or faster man(woman)

But sooner or later the man(woman) who wins

Is the fellow(lady) who thinks he(she) can."

You have outstanding capabilities...Your have within you tremendous mental and creative powers to succeed and develop good lasting relationship...So your motivation is increasing...Your confidence is increasing ...and you have the courage you need to achieve more and more happiness, love and joy in your life...

(4) Bill's Age Regression: During one of our sessions, we did an age regression. I asked Bill to go back to the cause of his problem. He went back to a situation when he was seven years old. His father was dying of cancer and he told young Bill that he would have to be a big boy and take care of his mother. This was the Initial Sensitizing Event (ISE).

The second event that he want to in the regression was a time in high school when he had to choose between a job and playing baseball at his high school. Due to the family situation, he chose to work instead of playing baseball. This was the Symptom Producing Event. (SPE)

As a result of being a compulsive worker as an adult, he spent so much time on his job that he neglected his wife. Even though she told him time and time again that she wanted more of his time, he would not change. Finally, she divorced him because of his lack of attention. This was the Symptom Intensifying Event (SIE)

Over the next few sessions, I had him go back in his imagination and nurture the "little boy" of his past and releasing the "little boy" within from the damaging effect of his father's statement, "You are going to have to be a big boy and take care of your mother."

After we worked on releasing other things that contributed to his workaholic, I told him the story of the Stairway to Nowhere:

(5) Stairway to Nowhere: I would like to share with you a story by Thomas Witherspoon about a man who built for himself the finest house in the neighborhood. He spared no expense in planning, purchasing material and for construction of the house. He was an unusual man and some might call him eccentric. His unusual imagination revealed itself in one very strange feature in his house, which was a stairway in the living room. Now, if you have a second floor, or even an attic, a stairway would not be so unusual, but this house had no second floor or attic. The stairway simply went to the ceiling and stopped right there.

For most of those who saw it, the stairway served no useful purpose at all, but to the homeowner, it was a thing of beauty. Although others may question his sanity for building a stairway to nowhere, he was very serious about it. Another individual who was very concerned about the stairway was the local building inspector. When he examined the house and before he gave it official sanction for dwelling purposes, he asked the owner, "Why a stairway and where does it go?" The owner replied, "I simply wanted a stairway and it doesn't go anywhere." The building inspector quickly responded, "Well, before I can approve your home, you're going to have to put a bannister on the stairway. It's a safety hazard without one." The owner complied and a bannister was added.

That stairway to nowhere might sound foolish, but the owner of that house is not the only person to build a stairway to nowhere. Many of us build stairways to nowhere by expending our energy in areas that are harmful to us or by limiting our lives. You have the opportunity today to get off your stairway to nowhere. You can begin today to live a successful life and to enjoy the life you have. You can be accepted as you are without having to work so hard to be accepted.

Bill last came to me for a session in 1987. Since than he has married and is enjoying a happy marriage. He makes a good living financially, but he now spends time with his wife and two stepdaughters, so he is enjoying his living. I close his last session with "New ways of seeing yourself" and "Eagle and Chickens with two endings."

(6) New Ways Of Seeing Yourself: Sometimes in the past, you accepted a statement by someone about your abilities. You accepted that verdict as true and you have lived your life based upon that statement. Now, you can look at that situation from a different vantage point and that can provide you with an opportunity to change.

Dr. A. Dudly Dennison tells a story about Dr. A.J. Cronin and how he overcame his feelings of inferiority which he had been living with for years. When Cronin was in medical school, one of his professors told him that his performance is surgery was unacceptable. The professor told him that he might become a general physician, but never a surgeon. At that moment, Cronin accepted his professor's judgment and from that time on focused on the general practice of medicine. When he finished his medical training, he went to a remote areas of the Scottish Highlands. He was the only physician within a hundred miles.

During a storm, a large tree fell on the son of the local pastor crushing his spine. Dr. Cronin was afraid to do the necessary surgery. The words of his old professor that he would never make a surgeon were ringing in his ears. The boy's father begged him to operate for without surgery, his son would be permanently paralyzed. Cronin said, "For the first time, I questioned the validity of the professor's verdict. Doubts and fears were swept away. I knew I could operate successfully and with God's help, I did."

From that experience, Dr. Cronin was able to change his mind about himself that he could not do surgery which was based upon his professor's statement. You can also change. You do not have to continue living with that false belief that you have to always be working. You can have time for a relationship. Your subconscious mind is assisting you by working out a very pleasant solution for you. As you accept a new understanding of your self-worth, you continue to make happy and healthy changes in your life and it is so.

(7) Eagle And Chickens With Two Endings: (Which Will You Choose?) A man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the barnyard chickens did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked, cackled, and would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air. Years passed and the eagle grew to adulthood. One day he saw a magnificent bird high above him in a cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents with scarcely beat of its strong golden wings. (First Ending)

The eagle looked up in awe, "What's that?" he asked, His friend responded "That's an eagle, the king of birds. He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth, we're chickens." So the eagle lived and died a chicken, because that's what he thought he was. (Second Ending)

The eagle looked up in awe, "What's that?" he asked. His friend responded, "that's an eagle, the king of birds. He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth, we're chickens." The eagle went through the day thinking of the eagle flying high. The next day the eagle went down to the pond. When he saw his reflection in the water, he noticed that he looked a lot like an eagle. He began to test his wings, flying further and further each day. After a few weeks, he was flying high and gliding just as if he were an eagle. Then realized that he was an eagle. He was an eagle and not a chicken.. With that thought, he flew above his past and his environment and so can you...