KISSING FROGS: DEDICATION, FORWARD, BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION, PREFACE, INTRODUCTION
CHAPLAIN PAUL G. DURBIN, Ph.D.
1. DEDICATION AND FORWARD:
2. BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION ON CHAPLAIN PAUL G. DURBIN, Ph.D. (1998)
DEDICATION: Over the years many people have touched my life and each has contributed to who I am today. I dedicate this book to all of them but a few I wish to acknowledge by name. My Dad, Reverend B. Paul Durbin (1903-1983) taught me to never stop learning and to acquire my own faith expression. My mom, Annie B. Durbin-Pullig taught me to be honest and to respect others. My wife, Bobbie has supported me with her friendship and love since 1958.
Others I would like to recognize are my sons, Timothy Paul and his wife Shannon and Scott Kimball and his wife Gretchen: my stepfather, Mr. Gordon Pullig: my Associate Chaplain Judy Nelson: my secretaries, Kim Purdum and Terri Kirn: the administrative, medical staff, employees, and patients of Pendleton Memorial Methodist Hospital, Leslie Longacre, R.D. Longacre, Chaplain Ray Stephens and you who read this book.
Forward By R.D. Longacre, Ph.D., F.B.H.A.: In my thirty years of professional practice as an allied health educator and complementary medicine provider I have emphasized the need to understand concepts rather than simply memorizing formulas, facts, published data and self-help therapy techniques. Chaplain Durbin attended a class I presented several years ago and immediately distinguished himself as a conceptual scholar as well as a seasoned counselor who helped his clients by asking the question, "Why not," rather than questioning them about why they could or why they could not.
As the Administrator for the National Board of Hypnotherapy and Hypnotic Anaesthesiology, I have had the privilege of working with Dr. Durbin at Board Meetings and Educational Planning Sessions. I continue to be amazed at his ability to look at a problem and find a solution by first asking, "Why not." This demonstrated approach to problem solving and Pastoral counseling is a subliminal message between every line of this book.
While I was reviewing the manuscript for this book, in preparation for writing the forward, my ten-year -old daughter walked into my office and looked at the title page. "Is this a book about how to kiss frogs," she said. "No, it is a book about learning to understand and love yourself and make good things happen in your life," I replied. She stood silently for a moment and then informed me, "Kids say that holding a frog will give you warts. But I think that if you kiss a frog it will love you and become a friend." After her pronouncement of wisdom that only a ten-year-old little girl can understand she left the room saying, "Friends can't give you warts Dad and frogs won't give you warts if you make friends with them first."
Kissing Frogs is a book about making friends. Making friends with the mental, spiritual and physical components inside of you that create what Dr. Durbin refers to as the Human Trinity. Kissing Frogs is a book about healing the tranquility that is normal and naturally created within everyone when they ask the question, "Why not."
Through the use of case studies, healing stories and easy to understand self-help techniques, Dr. Durbin takes the mystery and superstition out of the clinical application of visualization and guided imagery as a tool for pastoral or personal counseling. He outlines clinical and educational experiences that are bench marks of learning for all licensed health care professionals.
This book has a pattern of words that read more like music than printed thoughts on a page. As I read page after page, I am reminded of the lyrics of a song by a popular recording artist. In a portion of her song, "Seeds," Kathy Mattea says, "In God's hands we start the same, but where we land is sometimes fertile soil sometimes sand. We are all just seeds in God's hands. As I'm standing at a crossroads once again, I'm reminded we're all the same when we begin and in the end, we're all just seeds in God's hands.
You do not have to be a Christian or a believer in God to benefit from the teaching stories and self-help techniques presented in this book in an easy to understand and enjoyable reading style.
I was flattered when Dr. Durbin asked me to write the forward to his first book, "Human Trinity Hypnotherapy." At that time I accurately predicted that his first contribution to the library of published works in the area of the art and science of hypnotherapy would become a best seller among his peers and serious professionals of holistic health and complementary medicine. Kissing Frogs is a natural evolution of his first work that will be much sought after by serious scholars, graduate students and all of those who wish to utilize the abilities of their mind to achieve a more abundant life.
I urge you to set aside a special time in your life and enjoy this magical work of love, hope and miracles to its fullest. Dr. R.D. Longacre
Dr. Longacre is a Diplomat of the American Institute of Hypnotherapy and a Fellow of the National Board of Hypnotherapy and Hypnotic Anesthesiology. He is the author of Client-Centered Hypnotherapy and Visualization and Guided Imagery for Pain Management (both published by Kendall/Hunt in 1995), six other text books and numerous articles about hypnotherapy and hypnotic anesthesiology for pain management. Dr. Longacre is a past president or member of the board of directors of the California Council of Hypnotherapy, American Board of Hypnotherapy, National Society of Hypnotherapists and the American Association of Catastrophic Illness Counselors. He currently serves as the Administrator for the National Board of Hypnotherapy and Hypnotic Anesthesiology.
Biographical Information on Chaplain Paul G. Durbin, Ph.D. (1998): Chaplain Paul G. Durbin is a United Methodist Minister serving as Director of Pastoral Care at Pendleton Memorial Methodist Hospital in New Orleans, Louisiana. He has been on Pendleton Memorial Methodist Hospital staff since 1975 and has been Director since 1982. He is a retired Military Chaplain who last served as Army National Guard Special Assistant to the Chief of Chaplain, Army with rank of Brigadier General.
Chaplain Durbin has a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Centenary College of Louisiana; a Master of Divinity from Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia; Ph.D. from the American Institute of Hypnotherapy, Irvin, California; and has completed four quarters of Clinical Pastoral Education at Walter Reed A.M.C., Washington, D.C.
He is a member of the College of Chaplains, the Louisiana Chaplain Association, and the International Association of Counselors and Therapists. He is a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with the American Association of Professional Hypnotherapists, National Association of Clergy Hypnotherapists, American Council of Hypnotist Examiners, National Board of Hypnotherapy and Hypnotic Anesthesiology, the National Society of Clinical Hypnotherapists, National Guild of Hypnotists and International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association. He is President and Diplomat with NACH. He is a Fellow with AAPH and NBHA. He is on the Board of NACH, NBHA, and the IDMHA. In 1986-87, he was "Member of the Year" with NACH. He received the NBHA "Professional Excellency" Award for 1991 and the "Pen and Quill" Award in 1992 and Honorary Service Award from IMDHA in 1992. Upon receipt of the IHHF Sealah Award for Hypnotherapy, Chaplain Durbin was inducted into the International Hypnosis Hall of Fame in March 1992.
Chaplain Durbin has a number of articles and conducted numerous seminars throughout the nation on Pastoral Care, Stress Management, Ethical Consideration of Life Support Systems, Dying and Grief and Hypnotherapy. Chaplain Durbin teaches courses on "Hypnosis" at Nunez Community College in Chalmette, Louisiana. He has authored a booklet, "Introduction to the Value of Hypnosis," published by Pendleton Memorial Methodist Hospital Print Shop and a book, Human Trinity Hypnotherapy, published by Access Publishing, Ann Arbor, Michigan for which he received the 1994 "Pen and Quill" award from NBHA.
PREFACE: Kissing Frogs: The Practical Use Of Hypnotherapy is putting into practice the theories of my first book, Human Trinity Hypnotherapy. I have not used footnotes in this book because most of the chapters were taken from seminars or lectures. I do give credit to those who have influenced me in the Bibliographies. A Bibliography follows some chapters and the book concludes with an extensive Bibliography which includes books, video and audio tapes.
I would like to recognize some individuals who have influenced me either by their writings, seminars, tapes, or personal conversations: A.M. Krasner, A.M. Wolff, R.D. "Sean" Longacre, Bill Curtis, Art Winkler, J.A. "Mach" McMurtrey, Albert Bottari, Gordon Boyd, Sol Lewis, Louis Bauer, Anthony Caito, Ormand McGill, Cherylanne Atwood, Ann Spencer, Daniel Zalling, John Kappas, Patty McCormick and hundreds of others.
Section One, "Contributions To Human Trinity Hypnotherapy", recognizes, individuals outside the field of hypnotherapy whose works have contributed to my understanding of human nature. A case history follows each chapter to demonstrate the use of hypnotherapy using understanding and techniques developed from my understanding of the contributor. Section Two, "Review And Update of Human Trinity Hypnotherapy", contains case histories, manuscripts of seminars, lectures, articles, and writings. Section Three, "Case Histories" demonstrates my therapeutic techniques and selections of scripts in working with a variety of problems. In case histories, names have been changed and minor historical information has been altered to protect the identity of the client. Scripts have been developed over the years and from many different sources. If I know the basic source of the script, I will give credit by indicating that the script is "adapted from..."
INTRODUCTION: There are many definitions of hypnosis but some common threads run through most of these definitions. These common treads indicate that hypnosis is (1) an altered state of awareness with (2) focused concentration, (3) by-passing of the critical factor of the conscious mind, (4) conscious and subconscious communication, and (5) higher susceptibility to suggestion.
Though I may not be able to give you a detailed definition of hypnosis, I can tell you that it works. A few years ago, my son and I had just seen a world famous magician do one of his baffling tricks on television. My son turned to me and said, "How did he do that ?" I replied, "Scott, I don't have the faintest idea." When we witness something that we do not understand or can not explain, we ask, "How did he do that?" When we see a good hypnotherapist at work, we sometimes, ask, "How did he do that?" We want to understand; we want to know. Sometimes we just have to learn the techniques and use them even when we can't answer the question "How did he do that?"
Some professional counselors, ministers, and medical doctors say they do not use hypnosis because they do not know how it works. They miss a valuable tool for counseling and self-help. If someone offered you a television set, would you say, "Oh no, I can't accept it because I don't know how it work." You don't have to know how a TV works to enjoy its benefits.
In addition to having many definitions, there are many approaches to hypnotherapy. You have read of or attended seminars about such clinical uses of hypnotherapy as Analytical Hypnotherapy, Ericksonion Hypnotherapy, Client-Centered Hypnotherapy, Alchemical Hypnotherapy, Power Hypnotherapy, Conflict Therapy Hypnotherapy, Hypno-Analysis, Hypno-Think, Time-Line Therapy, Parts Therapy, Clinical Hypnotherapy, and others that I failed to mention. I admit that I have learned much from each of these techniques and some of each will be found in how I use hypnotherapy.
The foundation for my work in hypnotherapy is based upon what I refer to as the human trinity, thus Human Trinity Hypnotherapy. Whether you are a Christian or not, you would probably know what I meant if I referred to the Holy Trinity: God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I also believe in the human trinity. Each of us is a trinity within himself or herself. I am a trinity, you are a trinity. We are made up of body, mind, and spirit. We are physical, emotional and spiritual beings.
These three aspects of our being are so different and yet so integrated that one part of the human trinity can not be affected without having some effect on the other two. If you have a physical problem, it affects you emotionally and spiritually. That does not mean that if you are sick physically, you are also sick emotionally and spiritually but that they are affected. A person with an illness may grow emotionally and spiritually as a result of the illness. It may
be for good or bad but all three are affected. If you have an emotional problem, it affects you physically and spiritually. If you have a spiritual problem, if affects you physically and emotionally.
To demonstrate the effect of the emotional and spiritual on the physical, have a friend stand in front of you with his/her dominate arm outstretched at shoulder level. Push down on the arm and have the person resist. Have the person think a happy thought and resist. Push down and fell the resistance. Now ask the person to let the happy thought go and replace it with a sad thought. As the person thinks of a sad thought, push down. You will discover that the resistance is weakened. The difference between the happy thought and the sad thought resistance is obvious. If a sad or negative thought can cause one to lose power in his arm, what happens if one goes day after day, week after week, month after month thinking negative thoughts? The logical conclusion is that how one thinks and feels emotional or spiritual has an effect on one's body for good or bad.
In an article in the Journal of the American Board of Hypnotherapy, O. Carl Simonton states that the power of the mind goes far beyond what he first imagined. In addition he believes that, beyond the body and mind, there is another aspect of healing that needs to be addressed: the spiritual aspect.
The dictionary defines spirit as the life principle, especially in humans, and the feeling and motivation part of our lives. Working with spirit means enhancing our connection with the life principle. It means asking questions about why we're here on this planet, and about our unique purpose in life.
Simonton's work with patients has demonstrated that health involves body, mind, and spirit. And while the mind alone can be used to influence the physical state, it is used most effectively when it is aware of spirit. Spirit gives us resources that can't be reached through traditional psychological approaches. It opens us to healing forces that go far beyond our current understanding of our own limits. Simonton concludes, "We can learn to bring that power into our own lives."
According to an old legend, a spider let itself down from the peek of a barn by a silken thread until it reached a cross beam. There the spider spun an elaborate web, supported by the original thread. So interested did the spider become in what it had accomplished...and so proud...that it cut the supporting thread because there seemed to be not further need of it. The entire web collapsed, the spider was caught in its own web and died. We come into this world from the hand of God and on that hand, we are still dependent for the essential needs of life. No doubt God is please when we find new wonders in God's creation, but many have become so fascinated with the creation that they have forgotten the creator. We need to develop that spiritual side of our nature in order to reach our potential and live life more abundantly.
Accepting the theory of the human trinity, one understands that life is more than just being alive mentally and physically. To illustrate this, I would like to share two favorite stores which I use often. If you are aware that these stories were in my book. Human Trinity Hypnotherapy, remember that repetition is a learning tool in and out of hypnosis.
An airplane does not cease to be an airplane when it sets in the hanger or takes off along the runway, but its true nature becomes apparent only when it is airborne. Similarly, a person is a human being even when he or she is functioning only on the physical and psychological planes, but one shows his essential humanness when he rises to the spiritual dimension.
A man asked his three daughters how much they loved him. The oldest of them replied that she loved him more than all the gold and silver in the world. The father was noticeably please with her answer and gave her a big hug. The second daughter responded, "I love you more than the most valuable jewels in the world." He was pleased with her response and so gave her a big hug. The third and youngest said, "I love you better than salt." The man was not especially elated with her remark and dismissed it lightly as an indication of her immaturity. Nevertheless, he gave her a hug. His wife, their mother, overhearing the conversation, left salt out of her husband's nest meal. As he ate, he was thus confronted with the deep meaning of his youngest daughter's remark. She was saying that he was the flavoring and spice of her life. Developing the spiritual aspect is to life what salt is to food. The spiritual dimension gives flavor and seasoning to life. When one is functioning on all levels (physical, emotional and spiritual), life is more productive and more healthy.
Regardless of what you call your particular activity in hypnotherapy, we are all frog kissers. You may ask, "What is a frog kisser?" "Well did you ever feel like a frog?" You may respond, "How should I know what a frog feels like?" Maxie Dunnan in his book, Barefoot Days of The Soul ((1975) Word Books. Waco, Texas), tells us that frogs feel slow, low, puffy, drooped and pooped. The frog feeling comes when a person wants to be intelligent, but feels dumb, when he wants to share, but is selfish, when he wants to do right, but does wrong, when he wants to change, but does not, when he wants to care but is indifferent, when he wants to be accepted, but fells rejected, when he wants to stop a habit, but keeps on doing it. Yes, at one time or another, each of us have found ourselves on a lily pad, floating down the great river of life, disgusted but too froggish to budge.
Do you remember the fairy tale about a frog? Once upon a time there was frog but he
wasn't really frog. He was a prince who looked and felt like a frog. A wicked witch had cast
a spell on him. Only the kiss of a beautiful young maiden could save him, but since when do cute girls go around kissing frogs? So there he sat -- an unkissed prince in frog form. Though the situation seemed to be hopeless, miracles do happen. One day a beautiful young woman grabbed him up and gave him a big kiss right on his lips. Crash -- boom -- zap! There he was kissed -- a frog before, a prince after.
As hypnotherapist, our calling is to symbolically kiss frogs. Kissing frogs not with our lips but listening to them and then by the use of suggestion, imagery and healing stories to help people make changes in their life so they can become a prince or a princess.
The most beneficial seminars that I have attended and hypnotherapy books that I have read have been those that deal not only with theory but how theory is put into therapy. I admit that I am a believer in the use of scripts but only when information from the client is integrated into the script. I use scripts like as a swimmer uses a diving board at a swimming pool. The diving board is the taking off place, but the real therapy is getting into the water. So get into the water and kiss some frogs.